ava- ava- ava-cado

i was so relieved to find my buddy Emilio selling avocados at the farmers market on campus today. His farm/orchard is in Valley Center, one of the San Diego county communities hit hard by the fires last week. The fires spared his land. The fires burned the hills nearby, but the wind gods spared this immigrant farmer who I chat and flirt with every Tuesday morning. (I don't think he realizes I'm flirting...) While the fires spared his land, the Santa Ana winds did knock thousands of pounds of avocados from his trees. The avocado on the left is a normal sized Haas avocado. the one on the right is super jumbo. The variety is called "reed." It is supposed to be especially rich and buttery.

pump kin pie

Way before parts of West Virginia became bedroom communities of the sprawling Washington DC area, smug suburbanite kids from Montgomery County, MD loved to make "West Virginia" jokes. If we'd been in Omaha (Nebraska), we would have made "Council Bluffs" (Iowa) jokes.

I have no doubt that us San Diegans are the butt of many a joke from people living in LA. But that's okay. Wet make fun of Orange County and call it even.

But, back to that DC-based West Virginia joke from 1990:

Q: How do West Virginians celebrate Halloween?

A: They pump kin.

I remember this joke being told during my freshman year of high school at Gonzaga, in world cultures class, of all places. Good ole Father McKee. (Some day I'll tell the joke he told us one day in class.)

PS: the crust is store bought but the whipped cream was home whipped.

ashen sunset

The colors in this sunset from Wednesday are brought to you by the wildfires of 2007. thanks particulate matter for doing your "part" in making a nice sunet. We'd a been much happier without you. and don't be coming back no time soon.

tp is not a human shelter

In the bathroom of one of the two coffee houses I hung out in today (doing some writing), I encountered this note. I wonder what snide comment was removed via ripping...perhaps something like:

"THE TOILET PAPER IS NOT THE PROBLEM"

or

"If your mushroom quiche wasn't so gross, you wouldn't have this problem!"

any other ideas???

not all of San Diego burned up

i'm happy to report that not all of San Diego has burned to the ground. I'm not downplaying the amount of destruction, but I get the feeling that the images displayed in the national media made it seem like the whole damn place went up in flames. These photos are from one of the older sections of the city, between downtown and La Jolla and a few miles east of the ocean.

total change of subject

I saw this in a local gay newspaper and had to share. There is no shortage of gay men who put their smiling faces on ads for everything from dental work to lawyering, real estate and landscaping. But this one takes the cake. In addition to the bold confidential note, there is the subtle messaging with his choice of ISP and the fact that his name is "Randy." And then there is the choice to crop the photo below the belt. Yes, I see that if you cropped it at his waist, you wouldn't see the fantastic computer monitor. You also wouldn't see the two socks he stuffed in his pants. Or maybe it's his genes. Or is it just his jeans? BTW, it's a pity that the scan doesn't capture the two-sock bulge as well as the original newsprint did.

update: I just replaced the picture with one with his contact info removed. Not sure why, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

racist disgusting attitudes surface oh so quickly

the dark side of San Diego has surfaced itself on the comments section of a blog post tonight on the main fire-news blog. The original post is here, the almost completely dispicable trail of racist comments is here...below I have pasted much of the dialog, but the formatting is kind of messed up: here is the post that caused all the stir: you can read the comments at the bottom of the story. Illegal immigrants suspected of stealing supplies Posted @ 4:27 PM Six illegal immigrants who were suspected of stealing relief supplies from Qualcomm Stadium were arrested by Border Patrol agents after San Diego police stopped them Wednesday morning.A woman who had been evacuated to the stadium told officers she saw the group load up two pickup trucks and a car with cots and other supplies, leave and then return, said police Sgt. Jesse Cesen~a.When officers stopped them, a member of the group said they were being paid to take things of value from the stadium."They were stealing a lot of stuff," Cesen~a said. "We took the stuff back and we escorted them out. They were stealing from the people in need."Because some members of the group spoke Spanish, officers called Border Patrol agents at the stadium for relief efforts. They determined the people were in the country illegally and arrested them.The Border Patrol agents are among 100 that the federal agency has been providing for relief efforts, said agency spokesman Matthew Johnson. He said the agents are not looking for illegal immigrants among people seeking refuge at the stadium."We're not out there doing immigration stuff in the middle of a disaster," he said. "However, we still enforce the laws."-- Onell R. Soto and here are the disgusting comments "Illegal immigrants suspected of stealing supplies" Anonymous said... Why am I NOT SURPRISED!!! October 24, 2007 4:34 PM shutthedamnborder said... What a bunch of scum-sucking dirt bag cretins! I can't believe this. These rat feces ought to be hung in the public square and stoned by every legal citizen in San Diego. I'll be first. This is beyond appalling and atrocious. Yeah for the thin Green Line! October 24, 2007 4:35 PM Anonymous said... Drop them off in the middle of the fire and give them some shovels and a bucket. That will teach them a lesson. Taking them back to Mexico is like giving them a free vacation. October 24, 2007 4:37 PM Anonymous said... They and thier immediate families should be evicted and deported on the spot. We need to send a message October 24, 2007 4:43 PM Anonymous said... Talk about good neighbors.... October 24, 2007 4:44 PM Anonymous said... Maybe we should have them fight the fires, then send them back to Mexico. October 24, 2007 4:45 PM Anonymous said... Disgusting...really disgusting. They should be ashamed...very ashamed. October 24, 2007 4:46 PM Anonymous said... you know, had they just asked, they may have been able to take some supplies legally. October 24, 2007 4:47 PM Anonymous said... It is things like this that make me dislike our neighbors to the south. How dare these people steal from those who have just lost everything. October 24, 2007 4:47 PM Anonymous said... We are in the middle of evacuating and trying to stop the fire, and some people are trying to steal from people in need??!? I'm not sure about other but I am very angry when I heard this news... Those people need to be sent to jail, punished, and sent back to their country!!! October 24, 2007 4:53 PM Anonymous said... Haven't you heard? Illegal immigrants just come here because they want a better life....but at who's expense?Native San Diegan sick of it. October 24, 2007 4:54 PM Anonymous said... This looting is a Federal felony when a Federal Emergency has been declared. Throw them in jail and throw away the keys. Scum! October 24, 2007 5:00 PM Karl said... This isn't news about the fire. It's also not news pertinent to operations at the Qualcomm center that evacuees or concerned citizens need to know about. This should be removed from the Wildfires blog in lieu of reports about the actual fire and evacuation. October 24, 2007 5:17 PM catdirt said... i swear, you put this on the front of page of signonsandiego and commenters would literally go bananas! October 24, 2007 5:19 PM Christine said... i can't believe they were sent by someone to steal cots and food items from evacuees! do these people have no scruples? October 24, 2007 5:21 PM Anonymous said... Should have built the wall and kept the illegals out - when we will learn. October 24, 2007 5:21 PM Anonymous said... great example for your country Mexico. The image is that you're a bunch of theives. This isn't true but it doesn't appear very good when you're stealing from evacuated people. I'm sure they'll be given a 'pass' by the media since they're illegally here. Could you imagine if they'd been white and doing the same thing in New Orleans?? Media field day!! October 24, 2007 5:26 PM Sick of it, in Vista said... People, this ISN'T Katrina.... Let's show the rest of the country that Californians have some class and community spirit... Oh, wait.... the people accused AREN'T FROM CALIFORNIA.... THEY ARE ILLEGAL ALIENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! October 24, 2007 5:27 PM Anonymous said... "we took the stuff back and escorted them out"?? what the hell is that? why did this police sgt. not arrest the dirtbags, make an example out of them. what a missed opportunity... make the arrest, publicize the arrest on all media, get the public ire up and this would not continue. or just shoot em. October 24, 2007 5:36 PM Anonymous said... This is the lowest kind of behavior, stealing from a relief effort. October 24, 2007 5:45 PM Anonymous said... I can't believe that people would just show up at the stadium and begin stealing stuff!!! October 24, 2007 5:55 PM Anonymous said... Awesome job to the BP!!!!! October 24, 2007 6:17 PM Anonymous said... Illegal or not, why were they not arrested for stealing? The statement was that they were 'escorted out'. This is virtually no different than looting - they are taking from people in need in order to profit...At least they were arrested in the end by the Border Patrol. I understand that the police resources are stretched but we have to draw the line... October 24, 2007 6:25 PM Anonymous said... This is exactly why we need to enforce our immigration laws. Contrary to popular belief not all of these illegals are kind hearted individuals looking for a better life. These illegals are heartless people here to take advantage of us during a disaster or not during a disaster. God Bless everyone who loves America and helps those in times of need. October 24, 2007 6:35 PM Anonymous said... Typical... perfect reason why illegal immigration is a problem October 24, 2007 6:35 PM Anonymous said... they should hang these pigs!!!!!!!! October 24, 2007 6:45 PM Anonymous said... This has me livid!!!!!! October 24, 2007 6:51 PM Anonymous said... This is humanity at its lowest. I wish they burn in hell for stealing from those in need. I hope the courts throw the book at them. October 24, 2007 6:54 PM Anonymous said... whether illegal or not these people should be put away for life, this is a horrendous act that should be punished to the fullest extent (and maybe beyond a litte) October 24, 2007 7:54 PM Anonymous said... The poltical climate of correctness implies we are to accept and be gracious to illegal immigrants, to the point of reffering to them as undocumented aliens. Illegal is illegal and here they are not only getting free medical services, shelter and tax free cash money but now stealing from those in need. It's obvious these people do not care about our country or it's people, but they only care about what they can get or steal from us. If you or I did anything "Illegal" we would be arrested and prosecuted. Why are we not doing the same to them? Enough is enough! October 24, 2007 8:04 PM Anonymous said... Can we get this story to the national news agencies so they can get the word out to the rest of the country of why there is so much anomosity towards the illegal's. Lack of respect and lack of morals iswhat is coming into this country at all of our expenses!!! October 24, 2007 8:19 PM Devin said... Ok, these six guys are scum. Agreed. They should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and then deported. Agreed.But there are probably north of 100,000 illegals in San Diego and 6 of them were caught steeling. It is not evidence of the general character of illegal immigrants any more than the 2 american teenagers caught looting in Ramona are representative of all americans. You can be against illegal immigration without resorting to racist and prejudiced comments saying illegals or Mexicans are all a bunch of thieves. Put the white hoods away. October 24, 2007 8:47 PM Anonymous said... Oh my god, I cannot believe the utterly dispicable racism and hatred in this comment forum.If this had been six wealthy, white teenagers from Rancho Bernardo stealing supplies from Qualcomm I donlt think the response in this forum would be quite the same. Perhaps people instead would say, "kids will be kids!"The pathetic depths of responses in this forum just go to prove much of a racist, hateful place San Diego really is!Again, New Orleans NEVER got the disaster recovery responses that San Diego is receiving. Talk about racist! October 24, 2007 8:50 PM Anonymous said... This is no surprise to me. This is why I will never accept it when I hear people say that illegals are just hard-working people who want a better life. B.S.! They broke the law in the first place, and as any behavioral psychologist knows, when someone has a willful disregard for the law, it shows a propensity to continue to commit illegal acts. That's why there are SO many illegal alien criminals, this is why they have no remorse for stealing Soc. Security #'s, driving with no license and while drunk, statutory rape, and sucking down services provided by taxpayers, meant for citizens. Open your eyes, bleeding hearts. An illegal alien might sneak in illegally from the third-world, but the third-world never leaves the illegal alien. October 24, 2007 8:57 PM Anonymous said... Devin,You're probably a nice guy but don't you feel the frustration of all the other bloggers? It has been pent up for years because of our do-gooder corporation run government. They have the right to be angry as do I. October 24, 2007 8:57 PM Anonymous said... exactly. if they were wealthy teenagers from RB--they probably need the stuff more than illegal immigrants without a home trying to gain something when everyone else has lost. October 24, 2007 8:58 PM

We're Safe, No Evacuation

We are safe and sound (knock on wood). Fires continue to burn out of control. Tons of houses have burned. We are so lucky on this one. You can get the latest fire news here. I went down to the biggest evacuation center this morning. I was certainly willing to help out, but there were already too many volunteers. So I just poked around a bit and allowed myself to indulge by absorbing the outpouring of human support and generosity. I was particularly taken by a 9 year old girl walking through the parking lot with her mom. They were both carrying big bags of goods to donate. The little girl carried a bag full of Kotex boxes. How can all this good will be captured for additional issues...especially causes less photogenic than major natural disasters in our own back yards?

Photos from a San Diego Wildfire Evacuation Center: QUALCOMM STADIUM

tuesday morning. no evacuation here

It's Tuesday morning and UCSD is closed again today. We just got up and are tyring to get updated on what is going on. There are no evacuation plans for our areas. There are areas north of here that are being evacuated, so we need to stay informed.

smoky sunrise

View from our balcony about 6:30 AM Monday. The sunrise is tinted with smoke and ash from the wildfires that are raging 30-40 miles east of here. If you open the window, it smells like a bonfire in your living room. Lucky for us, the fires won't make it this far west.

UPDATE 4:50 PM Monday: Here is a map that shows the estimates of where the fire will go. We are south and east of UC San Diego and Torrey Pines golf course.

UPDATE 10:45 AM Monday: Over 1000 fire engines are on their way from Northern California. There is a chance the fire will burn all the way to the coast before it's done. That would be north of here, according to predictions. On a lighter note: in a press conference, officials made clear that the QUALCOMM evacuation site is QUALCOMM football stadium (where the Chargers play) and not QUALCOMM corporate headquarters in Sorrento Valley. There was some confusion and people were showing up at the HQ for the gods of CDMA technology only to be told they have to take refuge in the football palace in San Diego, not the cell phone palace. But this funny little snafu is not an indication that this is not a very serious situation.

UPDATE 9:00 AM Monday: San Diego is shut down today. The fires are getting worse and the air quality is horrible. Ivano and I should be fine b/c we are near the coast and I don't think the fires will get this far. But they have already jumped a 10 lane highway east of here...things are getting nasty and dangerous.

Local news on the fires

eggplants

What does the wanna-be Pottery Barn clip art (top pic) have to do with the culinary monstrosity below it?

Well, the freaky pickle/jalapeno looking things on top of the sweet potato are actually the egg plants from the pic above it. Yes, the yellow things really are eggplants. and yes, we did put these eggplants on top of a sour cream and cheese doused sweet potato. It sounds kinda gross right now, but it made for a tasty lunch. and a light lunch. which was nice because it left lots of room for fish tacos, a fish quesadilla and a fish/rice/bean bowl at Wahoo Fish Tacos in La Jolla. If you come visit, we should totally go there. It's a surfer joint. Or at least a surfer-fettishized joint. Either way, it was a lot of fun and bottles of Corona light are only $1.75 this month.

mexican pomegranates

Mexican pomegranates from San Diego county. The juice encased fruit packets are much sweeter than the more common darker red ones. Emilio, my buddy from the campus farmer's market grows these just north of here in Valley Center. I also bought a cup of fresh squeezed oj from him last tuesday after having four warts frozen off my right foot.

new natives for the balcony

courtesy of the fall plant sale fundraiser for the San Diego chapter of the California Native Plant society. Last year's crop of plants? It was a mixed bag...some lived but more than half died. Why? *little black bugs * lack of water * didn't like living in a pot * wrong soil * didn't like it when I bumped it and broke it's stem * didn't like it when I decided they plants needed to live on very little water (not even native plants are willing to conserve water!)

this year, I'm trying a few grasses and some other dudes that look hardy. And I'm willing to give them more water. Sorry San Diego water supply. I know I'm using water that I don't really need. But I really like plants and I don't want them to die...

AP Naivete

Although she attended a religious school – Minnehaha Academy in Minneapolis – McElhatton brings a wild and risque tone to "Pretty Little Mistakes," including what she calls a "graphic monkey sex scene."

Who said religious school made you well behaved? I thought it was generally accepted that the opposite is true... This is a quote from an AP book review of Heather McElhattan's Pretty Little Mistakes

I don't know anything about this book. I just happened upon this review in the San Diego paper in the work lunch room.

Pie Day

Pie day.

What else can one say?

Horray!

Got any floor pie?

Mount Hilda's Cell Phone Business Academy #1

Three days later, at the weekly online forum for Mount Hilda’s cell phone business school: Spiderwoman.biz like hi!!! so anyway Im like totally pissed my old cell phone business class was like a total scam Im totally bummed but like whatevr I totally found the fraud cops (WAY cute btw!) and its all cleared up Im like so happy to be at Mount Hildas totally cool cell phone business school. CaviarCultivar wlcm! If ur intrstd in joining my text-your-way-to-a-caviar-lay let me know Im the mkt leadr in providng caviar and champagne at rock bttm prices for online hookups in which bth parties proclaim they just want to meet for coffee ; ) Spiderwoman.biz tks but Ive already got a proj going my spider legwarmers are still a total go im ttly focusing on tarantulas…WAY easier than daddy lng lgs! im like so not into nanoscale legwarmers and like who has ddlls as pets anyway????? i know u like dont know anything about spider 4 but hes totally toast break out the Polaner Fruit spread cuz like hes like more toasted than white bread at dennys! GourmetGoGo Would you plzzzze pass the jelly!!! Spiderwoman.biz OMG u like ttly got my joke! I luv you GourmetGoGo Tk u madame. Now pardon me but do you have any Grey Poupon? Spiderwoman.biz no sorry but I ttly hav some like so cool killr mustard toned tarantula leg warmer mock ups SweetFingers im sure your marketing plan sucks how are u going to reach the niche tarantula market via a cell phone interface? Id like to see you penetrate and separate the online spider owner network via cell phone comm u r ttly screwd evrybdy knows u dnt make tarantula wardrobe choices on the cell total PC moment Spiderwoman.biz ur like SO wrong spider owners run their little fingers on nonQWERTY devices like spiders in a mosquito stdded web and besides when theyr home theyre 2 bsy teachng thr tarantulas to play the arachnid keyboard SweetFingers I on the other hand have it all worked out im going to offer trailer park arch desgns most cell phones are the perfect double wide dimensn!!!! CaviarCultivar ignore sf hes just jealous of what you are doing with your cell phone business school edu hes still mad from last wk he couldnt figr out how to switch the input mode on his phone during the entire online meet up he was typing numbers if it hadnt been for my number to text language alg that I applied ON THE FLY, he wouldnt have been able to talk last week I had to translate the whole damn time And now he wont pay for the extra 25 text messages I had to send last week hes so petty SweetFingers 3825 968! Spiderwoman.biz wht did he say????? CaviarCultivar u really want to know? Spiderwoman.biz ya CaviarCultivar fck u Spiderwoman.biz why r u getting mad at me???? I just asked a smpl ques what did he say? CaviarCultivar fck u SweetFingers 3825 968 255 CaviarCultivar fck u all Spiderwoman.biz fine b that way u guys ttly suk I think your caviar idea is stupid ur lucky this is the web or ur ass would be ttly grass Mount Hilda Prof 1: That’s enough already. Let’s get to work. Now please text in your assignments. Sw.biz, I trust you got my text message with the assignment yesterday? You were to craft a marketing document for a new denture cream for a non-tech-literate cell phone user using only 5 lines of text. CaviarCultivar? What did you come up with?

spider spider burning bright

Spider spider burning bright

In the forest of the light

What immortal hand or eye

Could spin such scary symmetry?

Whatever, Mr. Poem. You're like totally lame. I could have pulled out a clump of highlights, arranged them on a retro Lee press-on nail package and created a more meaningful string of characters than that sad sad poem. My god. If i were not needing to go shopping for Jams and hairspray, I'd totally write a way better poem about a spider. But instead, I'll just give you two lines, you lamo-dorko-geeko loser!

Spider, why 8 legs?

And what's with always wearing dark leg warmers?

IF YOU'RE GOING TO ASK A SPIDER A FASHION QUESTION, WHY DON'T YOU AT LEAST SPEAK TO IT IN ITS NATIVE LANGUAGE. DON'T YOU KNOW ALL SPIDERS SPEAK ESTONIAN????????

To the loser who screamed about spiders speaking estonian, i'd like to set the record straight. Only old world spiders speak Estonian. All new world spiders speak Canadian.

Word! Peace out to all Canadian speaking spiders!

ditto that, man!

I'm back, with new hairspray and like a totally renewed sense of why I hate message boards like this. You all are totally clueless. Spiders don't talk. Hello. They knit! Their communications are hidden within their webs. Like everyone knows that. It's like first-grade-obvious. totally. like whatever. this is SO not worth my time. But i like just took this cell phone business class and I'm totally working on a start up for spiders. I'm going to be the first supplier of colorful leg warmers to spiders. It's like totally market niche open wide. I'm like fully in the market alone. It's like being at Macy's during the Sax fall sale. Fucking deserted. I'm like totally stoked about being the new spider woman. That's me. Spiderwoman.biz I'm totally all over that. I've already got my hairspray focused on that web site. I'm so stoked.

I hope you've already disclosed your patents. If not, you just blew your market lead.

This is supposed to be a spider-phobia message board? You all need to go somewhere else, or at least help me with the fact that I'm going to vomit if I look at that spider one more time.

Can you like please not vomit on this board? You're going to get my pima cotton samples all dirty. Spiders are like SO picky about what fabrics they will tolerate on their bodies. This is so totally what my cell phone professor was like talking about when he forwarded a link to like some OTHER school about knowing your market and marketing your knowing. I like think that was the same email that he totally asked for my credit card number and my drivers license number and social security. He's like assembling a database for a marketing exercise we're going to do later in the semester. He's totally nice. And it was like so sweet of him to approach ME and ask ME if I'd like to take his cell phone business class. He's like the Harvard of cell phone business class modules focused on the busy student who only has time to text message from a cell like once a week, for like 30 minutes. It's like totally perfect. Now I need to like find some silk that is not going to cause an allergic reaction for spider #4, who is like totally pissing me off. If he tries to bite my face one more time, i'm going to full him so full of hairspray that even his eyeballs will be crusty in that 80s kind of way that makes me dream of my first training bra and like Jerry's pizza.

Eat Local, Eat Local, Eat Local

It's blog action day and bloggers are supposed to blog about the environment (caveat, thanks kelly for spotting it).

*okay, it WAS blog action day when I started drafting this...I'm late...but whatever...it's not like the environmental sustainability issues all got fixed yesterday... Caveat or not, I don't need to be eating cherries from Argentina or kiwi from New Zealand. That part I got down pretty good. But what about all the yogurt Ivano and I eat from breakfast? Is it grassfed sustainable yogurt or is it corn-fed, uber-industrial yogurt taxing both the cows and the land and the water supply? It turns out that we were doing good, eating Straus Family Creamery yogurt until about a month ago, when Trader Joe's did it's typical bait and switch. They replaced the Straus yogurt with a fake version. The graphic design on the tub is almost identical. But the source? I don't know. I am going to try to find out. But I seriously doubt it's the same high quality stuff coming from Straus.

If you haven't guessed by now, I'm almost done reading The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan. And i'm all fired up about trying to eat more local and when I do eat animal products, to eat grass fed animals -- and eggs and dairy that come from grassfed animals. If you're interested in finding grassfed animal sources near you, check out http://www.eatwild.com/ And if you live in the DC area, i'm totally jealous of you right now, because you can join a buyer's club and get food directly from Polyface Farm. Email them at polyface AT ntelos DOT net and ask for the buyers club info. I hear the eggs are out of this world and there is no minimum order. The only bummer is that you have to be at the drop off point within a 30 minute window. I'm going to try to get my mom to get some food from there. Polyface is the farm that Pollan visits and dedicates about a third of his book to. It's grassfed farming that works (assuming what i've read is actually accurate). It touched something deep in me. It's more of how my grandparents used to farm and so different from how my uncles now farm.

In San Diego, eating local is a little tricky because it doesn't rain here, so there is not too much sustainable agriculture. I'd still like someone to help me figure out if it's better to eat locally grown food from San Diego county that relies on water from either the San Joaquim delta, the Colorado River and/or the melted snow pack from the Sierras (the mountains east and north of southern California), or to get food shipped in from some part of the world where getting water is not such a huge deal and environmental cost.

I did eat a local apple today (2 actually -- who eats just one local apple when you have a whole bag in your office?). I bought them at the campus farmer's market, which happens every Tuesday when school is in session. I forget the name of the apple, but it's small and green and similar to a Granny Smith. It's an heirloom variety (according to the farmer, who also almost didn't give me all three grapefruits I bought, so I'm not sure how reliable he is :) ) The reason I mention the apples is because the cold snap that killed so many of San Diego's avocados last winter did wonders for the local apple and persimmon crop. See, the stone fruits like periods of cold.

If you're not a persimmon eater, try them out. Ivano introduced them to me in Italy, where they grow all over the outskirts of Milan along the myriad railroad tracks. Picture industrial scense with broken terra cotta tiles atop old plaster walls, trees with no leaves loaded with orange objects. Not oranges. Some strange fruit. The tree silhouette is spooky and messy, not graceful. It's like Martha Stewart on acid doing set design for a Halloween kids show using misshapen plastic pumpkins and WAY TOO MUCH hot glue gun supplies.

What should I be for Halloween?

Coming Out Day

UPDATE: what you will read in a future magazine article:

I'm looking for a cleaning expert to suggest the three most common holiday stains on furniture and floors and offer creative but simple ways to clean them. For example, how to remove pinesap stuck to floors; how to remove candle wax from fireplace mantels (other than using a hair dryer or wax paper and iron); how to get rid of chocolate or wine stains on carpets.

chicken-tastic

This is a chicken.

Sidenote: I was reading Brent Garland's blog last night (thanks to a link from Kelly's blog ((LOVE the painted pumpkins btw)) and came across something I really liked. He described himself as "a confirmed malcontent." I don't know what he meant exactly by that phrase, but I know what it meant for me. It resonated with something I've been thinking about lately: that it's okay for me to see myself as someone who is not totally happy all the time. I've come to realize (it took me long enough!!!) that I don't have to hide from the world when I don't feel fan-freakin-tastic. End sidenote. (sort of).

This is a chicken.

This is also just a chunk of genomic data from duplicated human DNA sequences that just happen to look like a chicken. I know that birds are the descendents of dinosaurs. But if we have a chicken likeness in our genomic duplications, then maybe we're from dinosaurs too. That might explain alot. Humans can be real monsters. Just look around.

I'm not going to say that all humans are descended from dinosaurs. I'll just stick to my own genome and say that I officially have dinosaur ancestors. And since I have a deep dark dino mom and pop, then being a confirmed malcontent is not so scary. Of course there is no reason for me to need dino ancestors to be a confirmed malcontent...but Rome was not built in a day...but if teradactals had been asked to help with some of the frescos, I think we could have gotten Rome off the "to-do list" in about a week. And the art would have been a little bit darker and reptilian. And dark is good. In fact, it's beautiful.

gnocchi di rosaria

On Monday night Ivano and i had his mom's gnocchi for dinner. It was fan-freaking-tastic. Rosaria made the gnocchi when she was here in July and they have been in the freezer. Last night was one of the special nights. And what made it especially special is that we were not celebrating anything in particular. Just a night together after a long day. It was nice to eat, but a little sad too. I couldn't help but think about all things that are not shared when families are so far away. And I was thinking about Ivano as a little kid and his grandmother sucking fresh eggs out of the shell in Campagna.

Do neurons eat?

Medical students drinking beer:

"Neurons don't eat!"

"They don't endocyse?"

"What do they eat?"

"Other neurons!"

"No they don't!"

"Maybe they do. Maybe that's the answer to Alzheimer's!"

urology expert?

Y'all missed out on a cold beer and good vibes tonight at the campus pub. True, I was there alone, but me and my flowered skirt had a time as sweet as peach cobbler. A medical student with more than a lemon zest touch of Brad Pit in his genes (and jeans) fretted that his urology professor wants him to help out in the urology lab. He's a urology expert. Good for him! And the professor wants him to help run the urology lab section. But he's afraid his urology expertise will alientate him from his fellow students. But when did Brad Pittish urology expertise ever alientate anyone from alone else? (unless your Angelina Jolie and Jeniffer Anniston, but that's a whole nother story). A story that would require more than one beer.

because I can

It's the inane details divulged to the world with the expectation that everyone else is as interested in your life that keeps happy hours happy (ha! I was gonna make fun of the blog world by posting a blog about the silliness of the innane detail exposure through blogs, but that kind of semi-selfconsious banter is SO last year...and so Web 2.0ver it... So here are a few: 1. After a delicious sandwich for lunch (thanks ivano!), I couldn't get a poppy seed out from between two of my front teeth. After a few minutes of shoving my fingernails, paper towels, water and saliva into the crevice, I managed to crush the poppy seed. It smeared across the junction between my two front teeth, leaving a beautiful black line that was far more apparent that the solitary, edible punctuation mark that I had before. 2. The so-pasteurized-and-processed-so-you-don't-have-to-refrigerate-them-EVER single-serving half-and-half containers in the office kitchen disappeared on Friday. In place was a note, in three different colors of magik marker, saying that we got a bad batch of "Mini Moos" and that more are on the way. In the mean time, regular, fridge-needing half and halfs are in the refrigerator in a black plastic bowl left over from the last catered event. It's Monday afternoon and the fridge-friendly dairy shots are all gone! and the new Mini Moo shipment is nowhere in sight. What am I going to do????? 3. Today, I'm wearing the pants that have hung in the closet for over a year. It had been so long that I'd worn them that I forgot WHY I stopped wearing them. Well. When I was outside taking deep breaths in an attempt to recover from the Mini Moo crisis we are facing around 2 PM, I realized why I hadn't worn these pants for a year. They're freakin' high waters. And wearing high waters in San Diego is kinda funny for two reasons. First, socks here are highly optional, and showing off black socks and black office shoes is like wearing a big "I'm a dork" sign. Second, we're in a mega drought and high waters in a drought are kinda sad, especially when I think about the thirsty trees that are stressed out with the lack of rain.

Boots & Sunglasses

"Boots and Sunglasses" sounds like a semi-formal party thrown by the greek system at the University of Nebraska. Not that I would know for sure. I never did get invited to "Bikers and Babes"...there were just no bikers that realized I was waiting for an invitation, I guess. This hike (from last weekend in San Bernadino National Forest...we there there without the obligatory wilderness permit...don't tell!) was gorgeous and pretty much the opposite of a hypothetical "Boots and Sunglasses" greek system drink fest...except for when I drew blood when I fell off the lame side of suicide rock. A party is not a party at UNL if there is no blood, and I'm not talkin about bloody marys...but those were immensely popular as well, especially on sunday morning before a football game. This is the first photo of me in my sunglasses!!! cue the song..."I'm so vain. I probably think this blog is about me, bout me, bout me, I'm so vain!"

Friday after work

Trash can voyeur. The banana smoked the entire pack of American Spirits after a particularly confusing organic chemistry lecture. Tub o' soup and crumpled paper had been watching smoothie porn all afternoon. They broke down about 4 PM and ordered a Jamba Juice, knowing full well that consuming a Jamba would destroy them...but not before they ate the banana and extracted all the second hand smoke molecules bound to its potassium-rich flesh. Smokes, banana peel, soup and paper have all been sent to municipal time out...for eternity. In about a year, soup is gonna be pissed he's not one of those new-fangled decomposable plastics...since his friends -- butt, peel and crumpled paper -- will be long gone.

tomatillo take one

I officially live in California now. No, it wasn't the naked body surfing at Black's beach, or the fish tacos on the pier at Ocean Beach or the fact that I put the word "the" before any highway number (ie. take the 5 to the 52 to the 805 to the 163 and get off at Friar's Rd...which by the way is how you get from our place to Fashion Valley Mall). What makes me a californian is that I made something with tomatillos -- those miniature, uncircumsized tomatoes that I have been nervously walking past at farmers markets for the last year. (In the photo above, the tomatillos are already circumsized.) So what did I make? Well, it was supposed to be a tomatillo and avacado salsa, but it was too acidic, so I added two more avacados and made tomatillo guacamole. Who knew salsa and guacamole are on the same continuum? the variable being the number of avacados of course.

Bad Shock Jocks

First it was Don and Mike, then the Greaseman and Howard Stern. After high school, however, I was largely cut off from morning shock jock shows. This morning, I found myself in the car and I ran into a second-tier group of shock jocks on a radio station whose call letters and location on the dial are a total mystery to me. This is all to say, I got a tasty dose of dirty, white guys and their female sidekick on morning talk radio today. Two of the bits: 1. A divorced guy in his mid-40s interviews other middle-aged divorced dudes on the air -- in search of friends. They called it "hit on soft-spoken Mike." Dudes called in and described their love of old cars, garage bands from the 1970s, and shared horrible ex-wife stories. One guy had been forced by his then wife to sell off 10 classic old cars. As soon as he is done paying the lawyer bills for the divorce, he'll start collecting cars again. The two seemed to bond over this point, and they plan to go play pool together this weekend. 2. Sexualizing the female staff and interns never gets old at FM radio stations. Two women from the station had a week of training with the cheerleaders from the local professional football team. Today, Friday, was the final event. The two women, dressed in Brittany Spears outfits, both performed their memorized dance routines before a crowd. They were evaluated by the Charger Girls and ranked by the response of the crowd. Unfortunately, I only had time to hear the first round of the competition. I don't know what happened in the freestyle round. As Brittany says, "I'm not that innocent." PS: If you check out the Charger Girls site, you'll see they are all exactly the same from the chin down. Kinda weird.

Indian Summer

I know I shouldn't do it, but I've got a song on repeat on my ipod. In fact, I've had a near music monoculture today. I listening to "Indian Summer" by Beat Happening right now. I've got a case of what they call "acorn fever." I'm not sure who came up with the term, but I've seen it used to describe the desire for an East Coast fall when you live in Southern California. But then again, I did sit outside at 3 PM in the shade and ate a cranberry scone without the slightest chill. And, I overheard a funny conversation. Two undergrads ran into each other. A dude and a dude-ette. Both attractive. He wants to go to dental school, she doesn't know what she wants. They met at a party last year through the dude-ette's former roomate. After a typical back-to-campus catch up conversation about roomates, tentative career plans and "adjustment periods," the inevitable happend. Dude-ette: "You should come by our house sometime and hang out." Dude was totally into it. Dude-ette: "You have [roomate's] number right?" Dude: a tentative yes, followed by a request to exchange numbers. Number exchange occurs in the following way: Dude calls Dude-ette's phone. Copious talk about actually calling, meeting, hanging. Akward silence followed by verbalization of what is in both minds: "Oh my god! I can't believe it's been a year already. How ARE you? We were totally supposed to hang out! I've got to go, but give me a call. You still have my number, right?" Laughing. Promises that that will not happen this time. Dude-ette walks off with phone pressed to hear. Who is she calling now? PS: Acorn Fever is a total misnomer. There are lots of acorns in Southern California. That's because there are lots of oak trees in California. Well in the places where they have not been cut down and replaced with tacky prefab cabins with fake log-cabin siding. But maybe log-cabin siding is better for the environment that real logs. PPS: I love this Onion article

Brown Bag Lunch

Yesterday, one of the guys at lunch started coughing. A bit of food had made its way down the wrong pipe. “Do you need the Heimlich maneuver?” (Insert a bit of sexually charged irony.) A brown bag lunch with gay male office workers at a university. What isn’t charged with sexual irony? The Heimlich is, of course, a non-insertive act of penetration. In redder-than-mauve surgical scrubs, a man with big brown eyes handed the coughing man an imaginary sheet of paper and said, in double time, “Organ donation form, sign here please!” If you had been there, you would have known the surgical scrubs were for surgeries done on corpses and you would have remembered that all good jokes are true at some level. It was a work lunch after all. Is it called surgery if you’re already dead?

no photo

this post has no photo. Just close your eyes and imagine the Flaming Lips singing "driving home the sky accelerates." Really do it. Okay. You can open your eyes now. Errr...if you were really following my directions, then you should not be reading this because you wouldn't know that I told you to open your eyes again. But that's okay. It's all good. I can handle it cuz I'm channeling Heather right now. Click this to see what I mean.

The sky is falling?

The sky is falling. The sky is falling. Or is it smiling? My toes are yellow with puss. Or is it golden nail polish fuss? Bad faux-hawk. Trendy Mohawk? I am getting sun burned. Or is the sun just shining, like I yearned? I do know my lashes are green. A natural green. Alfalfa green. I’m a free-range, spider eating chick. I’m a “hot chick” in a non-non-pc way. Where is my friend Ché?