holy cow it's dec 12

Holy cow, is right. It's December 12. And I'm sitting in my office doing something Christmas related that I can't do at home due to software limitations. Said software just crashed...i'll be back later.

the tree trunks are growing lights

first the swine flu, and now the trees get lights. what's next? ocean waves with mistletoe?

santa got run over by a dildo

hang, hung, hung

I was thinking about paying someone to feel the christmas spirit for me, so I wouldn't have to...but then I would have to pay them to stop feeling the christmas spirit for me on dec 28...and what if they refused? what if I was locked into an eternal scam in which I was forced to pay someone to feel Christmas spirit for me until I died?

Best Use of a Boogie Board by a UPS Guy...

...and the "Hell-Yeah!" goes to...

The San Diego UPS guy who used a pair of boogie boards to try to hide the toddler car seat that arrived 3 weeks in advance of italian bf's nephew. Too bad one of the boogie boards fell down before I got home.

I bet this guy is really into hiding his kids' christmas presents...he's the guy who builds a false floor in the basement and loads it up with toys...this is the same guy you do NOT want to piss off later in life, b/c that false floor in his basement can be used for all sorts of things that I can't even think about.

Cyber Monday: Beware of Early Morning (online) Shopping

If you plan to your christmas shopping from your computer during fleeting early-morning moments of silence, look out!

don't cyber shop before breakfast!!!!

Saturday morning, I awoke and bought vacuum bags online. Really.

Mornings are when I am most amenable to bureaucratic and other uninteresting tasks.

I did a little Googling on Saturday morning and found my vacuum bag make and model for the same price listed at Target (which of course didn't have the bags I needed when I was at their brick and mortar.)

Boom-batta-click-click-click.

Done!

But as I hit confirm, my eyes caught the shipping and handling. $7.50!

Frickin' $7.50 shipping and handling for $5.99 vacuum bags.

If I had been a little more awake, I'm sure I would have checked the shipping and handling before hitting "buy".

maybe there was some way to stop the online purchase, but that seemed like too much for a Saturday morning. So I'm just complaining about it on the Internet (and gradually trying to earn back that $7.50.) I think i'm almost there. I made coffee this am instead of buying a favored Monday-morning latte. Last night, I bought white wine that is a dollar cheaper than my homer-simpson-inspired, "I'll take a bottle of your second least expensive wine." I also stopped myself from buying a cookie-cooling rack. I don't know how important they are...but my mom uses them...and since I am trying to re-create her cookie magic this Christmas, I thought I should have a rack...but I used plates instead, and it seemed to work ok. So...I think i've almost earned back my saturday morning blunder...but be forewarned...don't cyber shop before breakfast!!!!

I also practiced yoga at home over the weekend rather than going to studios...but that was not for cost-saving reasons...

bowling alley is xmas free

I'm happy to report that the complete and utter lack of Christmas decorations at Kearney Mesa Bowling alley (which by the way is NOT on Kearney Mesa road. My female Korean buddy suggested they change the name to "NOT ON Kearny Mesa Bowling".)

but I am getting off track. The point is that the bowling alley has absolutely no Christmas decorations up...but I can't wait to go back when the Italians are in town to see what has changed--Charlie-Brown-Christmas-tree-wise.

Googling my brain for "bowling" and "Christmas" reminds me of being at a bowling alley as a little kid sometime after Chrsistmas, but before the decorations had come down. I remember being very sad as I looked at the bowling alley christmas tree, knowing it would not be up much longer, and knowing that that meant that Christmas was over and that regular life would soon be starting.

Hallo-tinsel-ween: Big Box Retail Brings Holidays Together

So yeah...christmas and halloween...they overlap in the "Land of the Big Box", for sure. We know that. But what does it mean for our understanding of the holidays (broad definition)?

I raised this question at a Yale-based telephone conference today focused on the emerging interface of Halloween and Christmas in retail America. One of the conference participants forwarded me this picture, taken on Halloween night 2009.

Anyone who claims that Halloween and Christmas exist in their own Big Box bubbles--with no interactions--needs to rethink their (not "his or her") hypotheses. Tinsel is clearly used to make a dress in the above photo. Sure, anyone can go dig into the closet and find random Christmas objects for use in Halloween costumes...but the sheer promiximty of Halloween and Christmas merchandise in the pre-Oct-31 Big-Box retail environment is fueling increased--and potentially novel--interactions between the two formerly-disparate holidays.

Look for an increasing number of Christmas-inspired Halloween costumes in the years to come. In addition, look for evolving notions of holiday boundaries in current and future generations. Jack-o-lantern Bubble lights on the Christmas tree. Jumbo Christmas stockings as trick-or-treat bags. These are just the beginning.

New Haven Santa Update

Santa made a surprise move today. The red-suited maverick took time to leave his sweat shops in China, and to go to a mall in New Haven, CT, according to Absurd Christmas freelance reporter, Douglas the architecture grad student.

According to a text message from the field from Douglas,

"Santa is at the mall no joke. All alone."

We look forward to additional updates on this breaking news story.

THIS JUST IN:

Douglas provided a photo of Santa...perhaps the first time he has been seen outside of his compound in China since he appeared at a "Christmas in July" used car extravaganza in Indianapolis.

Apparently, moving the North Pole to China has decreased mid-November interest in Santa...at the New Haven mall "not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse."
**as douglas suggested, please note rotisserie chicken in foreground of photo.

big box / office park disconnect

We are in that magical transitory moment in the year in which the big box stores have blown past Thanksgiving and dove right into Christmas. Meanwhile, the real estate offices, salons, and upscale car mechanics of the USA are wallowing in rust colored chrysanthemums and various cornucopia products. Mean-meanwhile, the candy bowl in my office is empty. Someone finally took the deformed tootsie roll that everyone in the office had already picked up at least twice, and then put back down once they realized a surgical procedure would be required in order to remove the wrapper from the deformed tootsie body. BTW, where have I been during the Jolly Rancher explosion? I had no idea they made tootsie-pop-sized lollies.

live trees coming on Nov 17

A local big box will get it's first crap...oh i mean crop of "live trees" on Nov 17. Of course by live trees, I mean "recently dead" trees, as opposed to fake trees which are made of plastic and are thus "long-ago dead" trees...if you imagine that the carbon in the oil used to make the plastic once belonged to some sort of living organism.

An excited employee in the garden section of the big box gave me the Nov 17 date with great excitement..."it only comes once a year!" she exclaimed.

Holiday Bargains and Thrift Stores

One of those things that always sticks in my mind is a year-after-college conversation I had with a New York based fashion-designer friend of a girlfriend (now wife) of a high school friend of mine.

I was talking up the wonders of thrift store shopping...Matt had taught me to thrift in college. And this fashion designer was like...yeah, but in new york, sometimes the new clothes are cheaper than the thrift clothes...and she was right...in some cases, you could get super cheap new stuff...cheaper than $9 thrift store cords...

fast forward 10 years...and I have a similar comment...new christmas merch can be cheaper than the stuff at the thrift stores...I was at a goodwill in downtown san diego yesterday, as part of my "day in under-travelled san diego"...and I found a bunch of fake Christmas trees on sale for ridiculous prices...really...$35 bucks for a mediocre fake, used, and kinda beat up tree? are you kidding me? been to WalMart lately? new trees abound for well under $35 dollars. And you might even find one that is "pre strung" with lights...in fact, that seems to be the norm now...you have to hunt around a bit to find the non-strung trees...but they are there...and they are WAY cheaper than freaking $35.

how do I know all this????

stay tuned to find out...wink wink

***The WalMart dilemma never seems to go away...unless you just never walk in the door and never do comprehensive Web searches for products...

Tijuana across the border

I went down to the park on the western most border of san diego and tijuana...where the land meets the ocean. it's a park on the usa side...but a totally militarized park...at least 7 different border patorol guys in various big ass trucks drove past. one tried to scare me away...told me about all the dangerous immigrants and criminals that could be sneaking through the park...then he qualified his statement...not ALL the immigrants are dangerous, he said.

Candy Corn 2009

Last Saturday was only ONE WEEK after Halloween, and I could NOT find any candy corn. I tried two grocery stores and a drug store. No freaking candy corn. What happened to the mountains of candy corn that towered just a few days prior.

I don't know about you, but I am increasinly freaked out by how fast holidays dissappear from retail shelves. Remember the days when holiday merch would languish on shelves for weeks and weeks. I am particularly thinking about Christmas, but I'm pretty sure, it was the same deal for Halloween. First things would be 50% off...and as they days ticked by, the size of the discount would increase...and then there were the bins in which advanced math was requred to figure out the actual discount...you know the bins I'm talking about...the ones that say TAKE AN EXTRA 50% OFF...followed by...TAKE AN ADDITIONAL 75% OFF...so you are taking 75% off of something that was already marked down 50, then 60, then 70 %. What is 75% off of something that is already 50% off???? It doesn't matter...at least to me...b/c those bins are few and far between.

So what the hell happened to the ghost boxer shorts? The witch toilet bowl covers? back to a wharehouse till next year maybe...but what about all the candy? where is my stash of Brach's candy corn? Do they ship it to third world countries and sell it there as "special" Candy? Do people in xxx country...you know...the countries with diseases that you only think about (unless you are Martin E) when you've earned enough money and time off to risk getting killed by a hippo on vacation....those kind of places...are they flooded with our old halloween candy?

I miss the bins...but there is not room for the bargain bins b/c the candy aisles are freaking full with every possible iteration of christmas candy.

So while last october I was freaking out over my over consumption of candy corn ...this year, I have the opposite problem.

The last time I saw candy corn in real life (minus the gross all-year candy corn that is waxy in appearance and doesn't really count as candy corn), was on the bus on Halloween night. The thing is...it's not the kind of candy corn you can eat...it was a girl in a candy corn costume. Supa cute.

BTW, candy corn is perhaps the most honest candy out there...it doesn't try to hide the fact that it's totally made with corn syrup. It's corn. It's candy. It's corn candy. It's candy corn.

photo needed from halloween

I was "the old lady who rides the bus" for Halloween, and in fact, i did take an hour-long bus ride to get to the street party i went to...and I even had to transfer buses at Fashion Valley Mall (green sweater helped with the bus ride). Thankfully, a black woman on the bus who said "Guurl" when I sat down fixed my collar. A male army veteran (with good hair and nails) shared that when he left the military, his commanding officer told him that he needed to embrace his feminine spirit and not just his masculine spirit. He says he went to modeling school when he left the military, really. The only person willing to sit next to me (on a totally full bus) in my old lady hound's tooth dress was a ripe-smelling chubby latino construction worker. the evening was a smashing success well before I got off the bus at my official destination. It's all about the journey.

italian bf on custard cam in alexandria, va

italian bf is hanging out at the Del Ray Dreamery before his yoga class with Margaret at River's Edge Yoga. I'm so jealous...but at least I got to live vicariously through the custard cam!

sunset park brooklyn

MMM. Brooklyn. italian bf and I just spent the night at a hotel on 49th between 2nd and 3rd. our first night in the same bed since Labor Day weekend. 49th between 2nd and 3rd...no, not the east side of manhattan. this is brooklyn. and there is a great mexican bakery/restaurant just a few blocks away on 4th ave (www.donpacolopez.com) . we had a quesadilla with cheese, zucchini blossoms and corn fungus. there are some extremely beautiful blocks, in terms of architecture around here. and the gentrification seeping south from park slope doesn't seem to have made it's way down here too strongly yet...but i don't know what the real estate market around here has done. We are off to the airport to pick up italian bf's parents...but first a stop back to the mexican place for sandwiches. I stopped there this am and for $2 got a cup of coffee con leche and two fresh mexican baked sweets...a sugary croissant and one of those circular baked things with the thick powdery sugar on top in the shape of a sea shell.

Michael Moore Movie

The new Michael Moore movie is great. Go see it. http://www.michaelmoore.com/

combination pizza hut and taco bell

douglas, this is for you...it reminds me of the combination mc donalds and chipotle

it's not easy being butch

it's not easy being butch...but somebody's gotta do it.

steer speck

If you click on one of the photos, you'll see the "steer speck" on my face. It's like a "fly speck" but from a castrated male cow, not a fly.

back to the farm!

mmm, working cattle is fun!

Ardipithecus ramidus

Martin, thanks for sending me this link. I can't stop watching it. For the uninitiated, this is a video about the pre-Lucy fossil recently unveiled in the pages of my former employer, the journal Science.

new yoga blog

Hi Y'all! I'll be back to this blog as we get a little closer to christmas...but in the meantime, I'm blogging at www.getofftheinternetandpracticeyoga.com

sofa art

photo of the poster over our sofa...it's a movie about an italian mathemetician who dissappeared. come see it.

bunny christmas

we've turned the corner. next christmas eve is just as close as last christmas eve. hmmm, mabye that means I should send out last year's xmas letter... UPDATE: WE TURNED THE CORNER IN JUNE...JULY IS THE 7TH MONTH...HELLLO??? I ALWAYS THOUGHT JULY WAS THE HALF WAY POINT B/C THERE IS ALWAYS SO MUCH TALK OF CHRISTMAS IN JULY...I THINK CHRISTMAS IN JUNE WOULD BE MORE APPROPRIATE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH

taste the rainbow

Gay pride was last weekend...and that meant Black's beach was PACKED. Supa cool.

Semantics on the yoga mat

I am doing my "homework" for a short photography class I am taking. We are playing with light. I taped a yellow piece of paper in front of my light source in order to get the yellow glow on the aluminium colored metal piping. This is a little thing I got for italian bf way back when I still worked for aaas and was in london facilitating a press conference about the rapid melting of the antartictic.

guide

i wanna make one of these guides for San Diego: http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/01/an-online-guide-for-tourists-by-locals/

finalmente!!! ashtanga yoga a milano

Lino Meile, the famous italian ashtanga teacher (whose Rome studio I visited back in 2002 or 2003) recently opened a yoga studio in Milano. This is fantastic...but it means that when I am in Milan, I will have less time for visiting (and stalking) gelato shops. http://www.astangamilano.it/

Lino gave props to Pattabhi today.

and no joke...reading the short message below in Italian made me cry...somehow it felt more real than reading the same information in english...

Con grande dispiacere comunichiamo che è mancato oggi Shri K. Pattabhi Jois, padre dell'Ashtanga.

Grazie al Suo insegnamento questo yoga si è diffuso nel mondo.

Con devozione e gratitudine lo ricorderemo.

Ashtanga yoga guru died yesterday

Pattabhi Jois died on Monday. He is one of the most influential and successful proponents and nurturers of Ashtanga yoga and one of the early yogis to bring yoga to the West.

He inspired and deeply influenced nearly all or maybe all of my current and past yoga teachers...you can do the "Kevin Bacon" game with pretty much any yogi, and way before seven connections, you are back to Pattabhi Jois.

Thanks Pattabhi! You taught David Swenson who taught Margaret Townsend who was my first yoga teacher. You taught Tim Miller who is my teacher and who taught Sean O'Shea who will inspire me as long as I live, even though he did in a car accident over 2 years ago. Tim Miller also taught so many other amazing yogis and teachers in San Diego and around the world, I can't possibly name them all.

I only practiced with Pattabhi once...in a huge Manhattan loft space at 6 in the morning on a Sunday three years and a couple of months ago. I'm glad I made the trip.

To Walmart or Not?

It is somehow fitting that I follow a post about country music with one about Walmart. Perhaps I've got the makings of my own country music song...

My latest commercial quandary is this:

I'm in the market for a massage table, and I've settled on a brand and model. I went to froogle.com and searched...and it turns out that the Walmart online price, when you include shipping, is about $70 cheaper than at the massage school I am going to.

What to do?

For years, I have avoided Walmart...for a variety of reasons...but the one most clear and dear to my heart is tied to Walmart's decimation of the downtowns and main streets in central nebraska where my mom is from.

But am I really doing good by not saving $70 on the massage table? What if I were to give that $70 to one of the environmental nonprofits doing great work? Or to a group helping the working poor? (perhaps the people who sold me the table at WalMart...)

...anyway...this is what is going through my head right now...and also, I saw that the cetaphil face lotion I have been using is 25% cheaper at Walmart than CVS. It's 9 bucks instead of 12. what to do about that?

G*d is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy

It's true. For the last two weeks, when I drive around in the car by myself (which happens since I live in San Diego), I've been listening to "new" country music on the radio...commercial radio...remember that?

For years, I was rigidly against this strange hybrid of real country music, pop music, right wing propaganda, sexism, xenophobia, heter-ONLY! society, and Americana-rha-rha-rha! But now, it also amuses me...for a variety of reasons that operate on a different levels.

I have this idea of going on a new-country-music radio binge...at least 12 hours straight...taking notes all the while...collecting strings on the similarities of topics that come up in the songs. What draws me to the lyrics are the fascinating contradictions...three songs praising god, followed by a song about being increadibly slutty, followed by a pro-military song, followed by a song that manages to mix all previous categories into one song, followed by a song in which the word "suds" is sung in such a charming way that I can't help but smile.

If you're still with me...listen or watch and listen (he is awful easy on the eyes) to Billy Currington sing about how "G*d is Great, Beer is Good and People are Crazy"...and I have to give Billy a little credit...

two out of three ain't bad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqrogegV1lw

last week's menu

So...I cooked a lot last week, in honor of Italian bf's birthday.

Sunday 26 April:
risotto bianco (the first time I ever cooked it properly)
King salmon (seasoned and baked)

Monday 27 April:
Fritatta con zucchini, pomodori (tomatoes) et chipole (onions)

Tuesday 28 April:
Chipolte take out

Wednesday 29 April:
My take on thai green curry with very little spices but lots of coconut milk and tofu

Thursday 30 April:
Dinner at Sea Rocket Bistro (Sustainable seafood in San Diego). And delicious beer too.

Friday 1 May:
In N Out french fries consumed in a car in the parking lot of In N Out. Follwed by green curry leftovers.

Saturday 2 May:
Pastina (tiny pasta cooked in vegetable broth which you don't strain away at the end)...kind of like a smooth veggie soup with pasta inside.

Sunday 3 May:
Potato leek soup with way too much rosemary...but good anyway...it felt like eating liquid stuffing due to all the rosemary, sage and thyme i sauteed with the porri (leeks).

Our friend Julie just sent a link to a cooking blog she follows...maybe it will provide some future inspiration. http://www.101cookbooks.com/index.html

susan boyle

I'm so glad I watched this youtube clip before someone told me what exactly I was in for. So if you are one of the 8 people in the internet connected world who hasn't seen this, click away: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

half gallon of half and half

so, i'm in the grocery store tonight getting some onions and beer and trying to soak up the easter-eve vibe. Not much easter-eve vibe in the outskirts of La Jolla...until I examine the contents of the guy in front of me in the express check-out line:

3 pounds of strawberries

two gallons of milk

a big ole pre-cooked ham

five pounds of potatoes

and...

drum roll

a half gallon of half and half.

what does one do with a half gallon of half and half?

coffee service for 50 perhaps.

but my money is on a crazy scalloped potato casserole recipe that calls for a butt-load of half and half.

mmmm

easter

before my half gallon of half and half express checkout line encounter, i tried to buy a small bag of Cadbury mini-eggs, just for old-time sake, but they only had 18 ounce bags...and I don't need that much extra candy in my life...

but that does raise the possibility that maybe the dude only needed a small amount of half and half, but all they had was the half gallon....so he went for it...if that's the case, i hope he does something fun with the leftovers...like pouring it in the bathtub and doing a kinky photo shoot.

about that last post: I SO didn't read that

so...on Monday, I posted what I had planned to read at the end of my weekly Tuesday night yoga class in San Diego. Well, by Tuesday afternoon, when I re-read it, I was like "there is no way I'm going to read this."

So, I chose something that I didn't write...and read it almost word-for-word...just inserting "wise man" where the book had "holy man."

I'm all about de-religification of readings for savasana (deep relaxtion at the end of yoga practice). I mean, hello, what is a "holy man" anyway? The only holy man I know is Sponge Bob.

I'll include the text of what I read later.

what I'm reading at the end of tomorrow's yoga class

In the worldly life, one needs money to pay the rent or mortgage, to pay for transportation, insurance, clothes and other necessities. Without money, one cannot get these things.

But, there is a limit to what one can buy. One can buy a fountain pen, but one can't buy the ability to write. This, one has to acquire oneself. This experience cannot be bought.

One may pay for someone's help for just about anything you can imagine, but the help given by friends and family is something different. It is given with feeling. This feeling cannot be paid for with anything. It can only be given.

Likewise, in yoga and meditation, there are books and DVDs to give you knowledge, and knowledge certainly IS valuable. But more and more and more knowledge does not guarantee a deeper, richer or more freeing yoga or meditation practice.

Unless you make it to the path, knowledge of that path is not going to help much.

Instead, it's helpful to couple knowledge with regular attempts to teach the brain to follow the breath. Cultivating a hint of care-free joy within the practice is also helpful -- joy unencumbered by fears of whether a pose is imperfect; joy free from concerns that you are doing certain poses worse than you did them last week, last month or last year.

Joy that is free from any expectations that we put on ourselves, or expectations we imagine others are placing on us.

*adapted from the beginning of chapter 13 of Good Company by Sri Shantanand Saraswati

emailing w/ italian bf

from italian bf who is at a conference in Ohio:

ciao, sexy boy

cos'hai fatto ieri sera? hai dormito bene? io cosi' cosi'

ma ho fatto le mie tasse federali questa mattina e ora vado a mangiuare e poi alla conferenza

un bacio

even the most mundane things are more interesting in another language... "le mie tasse federali" ...sounds like a big italian beer glass emblazoned with a baroque federal symbol from Italy including both a bird of prey and a butch peasant with bulging biceps...but of course, it's just federal taxes.

twitter...really?

One of the inhabitants of the Blue Knob gay trailer park (see comment on last post) suggested I try Twitter...so here I am...now I can hook up my phone and rack up huge text messaging charges just like a 14 year old girl!!!! OMG!!!

http://twitter.com/statuses/friends_timeline/23513195.rss

Cursive is coming next Saturday

Cursive (aka "screaming white men" to certain dutch friends) is playing The Casbah next saturday. Yay! Indie rock on saturday night and a hike to Anza Borrego Desert State Park on Sunday morning with the SD chapter of the CA native plant society. I am spoiled...and I like it.

Local Government Will Rock! Go Amy!!

http://www.electquinn.com/ You go girl!!!

shoe shine

I just shined my shoes. It had been freaking months since I did that job...I also cleaned my yoga mat and italian bf's yoga mat using the cool spray I bought at Margaret's yoga studio.

next step...fire up the digi camera again and start posting pictures again.

Sherry Bottle Cashed

It took 14 months...but my first bottle of sherry is finally finished. And it all went for squash soup.

I am cooking dinner for italian bf and a friend tomorrow night...so I'm making the soup tonight...in hopes that over night, the molecules will all go to night school and learn how to be extra flavorfull.

what else is on the menu?

lasagne made with grass fed nebraska ground beef and italian bf's mama's recipe.

and salad and for dessert...

budino...which is a custard like dessert made from egg yolks, flour, sugar and milk (and a shit load of stirring)

balcony food composting

it's the next step...using worms to compost out on the balcony...am I up for the challenge? I keep thiking about it...and the article in the NYTimes just reminded me that it's something to keep thinking about...it references a magazine about organic recycling...but it doesn't seem particularly aimed at apartment dwellers

xmas letter is coming...

so...i've been doing a lot of writing since i stopped blogging in december...and well...some of it will be printed and mailed...in theory...so...lets hope the post office is still functioning in the next couple of weeks.

i'm back...and my shirts stink

I'm back...not sure where I been...but I'm back nonetheless...

who's up for a little self depricating humor?

i am!!!

great! here goes. Last week, I get to work after the usual 30 minute walk...and I notice I've got some under-arm stink going on...which I just don't understand...I had showered, I had put on deodorant...sure, I walked to school and got a little warm during the walk, but nothing major...I wear a new tshirt every day...what gives?

i'm stumped...until...coincidentally, italian bf asks me if I ever plan on washing my work shirts...and i'm like, yeah, of course I'll wash them...see...italian bf used to wash all the clothes, but since he's been so busy, he hasn't gotten around to it...and well...i hadn't really noticed...and well...you can see where this is going...clean on the inside, and dirty on the outside...that's me...showing up at work all clean and showered except for one little detail...my smelly banana republic sale rack shirts...mmm...smelly banana.