giovedì 10 aprile 2008

es-o-c-k-s



remember those commercials that claimed you could learn a foreign language just by spelling words from your own language? Well, the es-o-c-k-s is all I remember.

I was just looking through some of my digital pictures and came across my striped italian socks that I got for christmas from Ivano's mom.

And socks lead to feet and feet lead to foot and foot leads to my left foot.
My left foot is not opinioned.
Rather, it's bunionated.
And since my mom has some nasty osteo-arthritis in her bunionated foot, I went to the foot doctor a few weeks ago. I got was a gorgeous blonde former jock who wears Champion brand booty socks and clogs on his feet.
HMO backwards is OMH. Oh My Hotness.
HMO forwards is HMO. Hot Male Osteo-dude.

He manipulated my Achilles tendons, twisted my big toes and asked me how many drinks I have per month.

He gave me some dividers to put between by big toe and my second toe. The two-tone foam fingers are cock blocks for my bunion. You see, my bunion is a nasty man who desperately wants to grope his way over to toe number two. To molest toe number two, who in turns flinches toward toe number three, and three to four and four to five in a domino reaction that will lead the scalpel happy surgeons to conclude that I need to chop up my foot and reorganize the bones.
So, the foam fingers are cock blocks for both the bunion and the surgeons.

3 commenti:

W ha detto...

Interesting. What did he say about drinking and bunyons?

Daniel ha detto...

nothing...it's just one of those dumb things that they ask...it was toatlly not relevant...which is why I think its funny :)

Anonimo ha detto...

No, Daniel. That's where you're very wrong. There is a very strong correlation between drinking and bunion building. In fact, there's even a group that has organized to fight against it: MADBB.

Mothers Against Drunk Bunion Building.

Really. My mother told me about it. And she has bunions out the ass.