Blingle Bells Blingle Bells Blingle all the way!

Give the gift of bling...to your coworkers?!

A San Diego jewlery dot com that focuses on celebrity knock off jewlery suggests that we use our office Secret Santa opportunities to give cube buds the gift of bling. Cubic zirconia (CZ) for everyone in my cube. I'm down with that.

The Mariah Carey Inspired Pave CZ Butterfly Ring is always a crowd pleaser.

I'm laughing at the absurding of "Secret Santa marketing."

I love how honest they are about things on this site, http://www.emitation.com/ .

For example, they tell you to "steal the style!" Literally.

Steal the Style - Angelina Jolie at the 2007 Venice Film Festival

Steal the Style - Paris Hilton's Nautical Bling

I don't know the exact environmental/political/human toll that cubic zirconium takes on the world, but it can't be nearly as bad as most diamonds are. So go on with your CZ nautical bling!

Long Beach. Where is your Xmas Spirit?

Long beach has not started decorating for Christmas yet.

I'm thinking about filing a complaint with the proper city officials.

I feel discriminated against.

It's freaking November 4.

Where is the tinsel?

Los Angeles to the north doesn't have any problems.

There are billboards all over the place with pictures of elephants dressed in Christmas garb with captions saying "Who Needs Reindeer?!"

It's a bit ironic for my taste. But at least it's holiday related.

Come on, Long Beach!

There are plenty of ways to do it.

For example, the blue pickup truck above is the PERFECT candidate for an evergreen wreath on the front grill. Maybe one of those with the lights that pull electricity from the battery so they light up at night.

The dude in the cowboy hat could easly attacth a sprig of holly or mistletoe to the brim.

Would that be so hard for him?

What's a holiday without the trim?

Buck Wild Dollar Store. Come on!!!!! Even a dead copyriter could help you out on this one:

"Have a Buck Wild Christmas!"

"Buck Wild Holiday Decor!"

"Go Buck Wild for the Baby Christ Child!"

"A Male Reindeer is a Buck. We've got inflatable bucks for a buck. Come load your Truck!"

Laffy Taffy Update:

What kind of reindeer dental work can you get for a dollar?

Answer: buck teeth

Cowbwebs Gotta Go!!!!!

If these spider webs are not down by next week. I'm going to take them down myself. This is OUTRAGEOUS. There are ONLY 52 days before Christmas and someone has the gaul to have Halloween-related decor on their house. I'm livid. How dare they!!!! Think of the children! And that yellow caution tape mocks me with its exclamatory yellow. There is no twinkle. No red and white spiraling cane. No blow up snowman. No life. No love. No hope. All I can do is keep pushing to create New Halloween on Oct 3.

christmas IS coming

Finally, Halloween is over. Now there is nothing to get in the way of full-on pre-Thanksgiving Christmas preparation. Halloween is such a drag. If we got rid of Halloween, there would be no reason to NOT start making christmas cookies on like Oct 29. Right now, you just can't make Christmas cookies in October. You just can't. Therefore, I suggest we move Halloween back to Oct 3. Exactly one month after Labor Day. Hello. Halloween is mostly about adults dressing slutty and kids knocking on doors and getting candy. Is there any reason that can't be done in early October? I didn't think so. Okay. Okay. Okay. For the Catholics out there, we need to move All Souls Day to Oct 4, so that it comes the day after New Halloween. Why? Cuz all the kids that go to Catholic elementary school get the day after Halloween off b/c it's a "holy day of obligation." I think its really a hole-y day of obligation in that we are obligated to eat so much candy that we put holes in our teeth. My point, however, is that the day after Halloween is traditionally not a school day for the catholic school set. And I'd hate to deprive those already tortured kids of that holiday just so people like me can start shopping for Santa sweaters in October without feeling embarrassed. Then there is the whole Day of the Dead thing. I'm not sure exactly how to handle that one. I'll leave it up to Kelly to decide if day of the dead moves up to follow New Halloween or if it should stay put. Personally, I don't think it's a deal breaker. I can contemplate those who have gone to the great beyond while I'm busy deciding which 8 slice bagle toaster to add to my alternate Christmas list. What is an alternate Christmas list, you ask? It's the list you draw from about Nov 20, when you have that feeling that everything you put on lists A1-A18 will be delivered to you from Santa via UPS by Dec 22. I call it a holiday back up plan. You can never get too much stuff. Never can you get enough industrial toasters, blenders that create hurricane winds within your kitchen, platters for cinnamon rolls that you'll never EVER make and ill-fitting fleece. Did I mention that New Halloween would also boost holiday weight gain by extending the window in which holiday parties can be thrown? And this would prompt the purchase of more sweat shop produced elastic fat pants from China. And we all know how great it is to keep the sweat shops as busy as possible. Working at a sweat shop is like Bikram yoga for the workers, right? They want to work in those conditions, right? You have to like major in sweat shop studies, right? They like it, right? We only buy so much stuff because we don't want to disappoint the sweat-shop workers, right? And we allow toxic plastic-softeners in our toys because we're afraid that if we don't use all the potentially testosterone-blocking plastic additives, then the price for such "commodity chemicals" will be so low (due to high supply levels) that poor Chinese babies might find said plastic softeners in their rubber duckies, right? That's what I thought. We're like totally altruistic.