Why'd I shop Costco "Pumpkin-pie Mayo" ?

There's a gallon of whipping cream still in the fridge,

In my coffee I throw more than a smidge.

Whipping cream latte with pumpkin spice,

Whipping cream risotto with arborio rice.

Un-whipped cream goes on my cereal,

But the Rice Krispies won't sink...they're so mercurial.

Whipping cream for midnight snack,

Whipping cream for a heart attack.

But I saved three dollars...or maybe four...

By buying in bulk, and I'm keeping score.

Forget the deductible for the coronary specialist,

When it comes to shopping, I'm a gold medalist.