Candy Corn 2009

Last Saturday was only ONE WEEK after Halloween, and I could NOT find any candy corn. I tried two grocery stores and a drug store. No freaking candy corn. What happened to the mountains of candy corn that towered just a few days prior.

I don't know about you, but I am increasinly freaked out by how fast holidays dissappear from retail shelves. Remember the days when holiday merch would languish on shelves for weeks and weeks. I am particularly thinking about Christmas, but I'm pretty sure, it was the same deal for Halloween. First things would be 50% off...and as they days ticked by, the size of the discount would increase...and then there were the bins in which advanced math was requred to figure out the actual discount...you know the bins I'm talking about...the ones that say TAKE AN EXTRA 50% OFF...followed by...TAKE AN ADDITIONAL 75% OFF...so you are taking 75% off of something that was already marked down 50, then 60, then 70 %. What is 75% off of something that is already 50% off???? It doesn't matter...at least to me...b/c those bins are few and far between.

So what the hell happened to the ghost boxer shorts? The witch toilet bowl covers? back to a wharehouse till next year maybe...but what about all the candy? where is my stash of Brach's candy corn? Do they ship it to third world countries and sell it there as "special" Candy? Do people in xxx country...you know...the countries with diseases that you only think about (unless you are Martin E) when you've earned enough money and time off to risk getting killed by a hippo on vacation....those kind of places...are they flooded with our old halloween candy?

I miss the bins...but there is not room for the bargain bins b/c the candy aisles are freaking full with every possible iteration of christmas candy.

So while last october I was freaking out over my over consumption of candy corn ...this year, I have the opposite problem.

The last time I saw candy corn in real life (minus the gross all-year candy corn that is waxy in appearance and doesn't really count as candy corn), was on the bus on Halloween night. The thing is...it's not the kind of candy corn you can eat...it was a girl in a candy corn costume. Supa cute.

BTW, candy corn is perhaps the most honest candy out there...it doesn't try to hide the fact that it's totally made with corn syrup. It's corn. It's candy. It's corn candy. It's candy corn.